If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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