i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
