She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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