i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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