I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
