I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
