the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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