Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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