Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
