So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
