so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Shame - the story of my life.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
