Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
