my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
