What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
