so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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