If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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