if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
All I want is dick and wine.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
