wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she peed on how many people?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
