So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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