Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
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