i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
