did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
