My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
This is not my ceiling
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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