Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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