Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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