He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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