I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
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We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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