We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
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Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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