I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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