i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
My feet surprised me
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