I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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