We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
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My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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