she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
