dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize