id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
