Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
this is an emotional support booty call
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
