i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
