Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
