It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
