she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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