What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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