Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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