dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
She made me pour olive oil on her.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
