when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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