Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I think I sprained my soul last night
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
