Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
