im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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