1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize