Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
NoShamevember. You game?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
