as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
