Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
