What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
