No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
