you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize