You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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