we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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