I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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