don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
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yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
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She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
so much tequila, so little girl.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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