I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
