you're like a bully in the Christmas story
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
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