My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
