Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
