glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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