she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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