I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
we made out on top of his cat.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
