I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She bit a glass in half.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
