I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
