Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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