mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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